Reparenting. Relearning. Releasing.

Reparenting is the conscious act of healing your inner child by giving yourself the love and emotional tools that your guardians didn’t give you.  It is one of my favorite forms of shadow work, because it allows us to end negative cycles caused by repetition compulsion, or the subconscious habit of recreating our past. Oftentimes, we don’t realize how many of the negative habits that we form in relationships (of all kinds) are conditioned responses that we learned as children, either by observing and mimicking our parents, or in response to our parents' behavior. While reparenting can be especially helpful for people who were abused or neglected as children, surviving blatant abuse is not a requirement for this form of inner work. 

The unfortunate truth is that many people are walking around with scars from parents who did not intentionally traumatize them. Some of these scars are the result of unhealed people having children and projecting their traumas onto them. Recognizing this during the reparenting process gives us the opportunity to end the cycle. While we cannot go back in time and force our parents to heal before parenting us, we can practice conscious parenting and ensure that the next generation has a better childhood. Conscious parenting is being intentional and mindful of the long term effects that your parenting techniques will have on your child, instead of mindlessly imitating the way that you were parented. The most relevant example of this is the conversation Black millennials are having about spanking. Due to the negative long-term effects that spanking has on children, many Black millennial parents are making the conscious decision to use other disciplinary techniques.The ability to face our childhood selves and decide that we want better for our children is a beautiful skill that reparenting gives us, and is the key to healing some of the generational trauma that plagues our bloodlines. 

If you’re a Hoodoo, reparenting can be a very spiritual experience. When working with your ancestors and healing your childhood self, you may discover that what you need to heal from was a learned behavior or a result of trauma passed onto your parents by their parents. Elevating the ancestors who weren’t able to heal, and projected their traumas onto their own children, is extremely important. Especially if you are the only living Hoodoo in your family, and the responsibility of breaking generational curses is placed solely on you. Heal yourself. End the cycle. Elevate your bloodline. 

Do you need tips on how to get started? Do you have questions about shadow work? Book a shadow work consultation here!


*Below is a link to a TED Talk by a Black woman named Brandy Wells on ending cycles of generational trauma. 


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